In memory of the children sacrificed in Sichuan’s earthquake – Author unknown

This is a brief translation on the poem dedicated to the children sacrificed in Sichuan's earthquake on May 12, 2008 which I'd posted on May 22, 2008. My sincere blessings to those who're involved whether directly or indirectly in the earthquake... may whoever and wherever they are, be blessed.

In memory of the children sacrificed in Sichuan’s earthquake – Author unknown

Child, grasp your mama’s hand fast

The path to heaven is too dark

Mama’s worried you’re gonna knock your head

Quick! Grasp your mama’s hand

Let mama go with you

Mama’s worried the path to heaven is too dark

I can’t see your hand

Ever since the collapsed wall

Has taken away the sunlight

I never get to see

Your tender eyes anymore

Child, go

The path in front

Has no more worries

No more mountains of text book

And papa’s fist

You have to remember

Mama’s and papa’s faces

To be reunited in the future life

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Mama, don’t worry

The path to heaven is rather narrow

There are many school mate friends

We said : Don’t cry

Anyone’s mama is our mama

Anyone’s child is mama’s child

Days without me

Shower the survived children with mama’s love

Mama, please don’t cry

Mama’s tears can’t brighten up our path

Let us go slowly on our own

Mama, I will remember mama’s and papa’s faces

Remember our promise

To be reunited in the future life


In memory of the children sacrificed in Sichuan’s earthquake – Author unknown

Translated by Fiona S.

Hide and seek

Almost a month now since I last read for the sake of exam. For the past two weeks, I’ve been reading quite a number of books for the sake of reading and it was great! Well, that’s not the main thing.

A while ago, I was lying on the floor of the living room. Then I notice the long time left unnoticed empty space in between the three seats chair and floor. I couldn’t really remember when was the last time I actually had the attempt to crawl or hide beneath the long chair… gee… it must be very long!

If anyone reading this remembers the game we used to play LAST time… when we were in pre-school or perhaps until junior primary school? Hide-and-seek! In school compound, we have the remaining of the school to play it before the bell rings to mark the beginning of the afternoon students’ session. That must be one of the best exercise we had then as we were running to everywhere just to locate the best place to hide before the ONE counted until… 10, 20, 30… or up to 100. It all depends on how big was the area we were playing.

Back at home, I must say that it was very common that we’ll hide our little body beneath the chair or in the cupboard. Basically, no matter how many times we played it, those were the common spot for us to hide and yet, we played the game from time to time until we were old enough to find that the game is no longer an interesting game for us anymore.

Now back to the moment when I saw the empty space beneath the three seats chair. The space looks neither too big nor too small but I made an attempt to slide myself in. Anyway, I found that I couldn’t slide my whole body in anymore like me and my friends used to do last time.
Though I couldn’t slide in, I continued to lie on the floor and laugh to myself. Next, I told myself…

“… they (the adults) used to tell me how lucky I am to be a kid. I watched the television and the actors or actresses used to repeat the same phrase. But I couldn’t really understand why. As a kid myself then, me and my friends used to talk among ourselves – the adults never really know how terrible it is to be a kid. Now that I’ve left my childhood and slowly stepping into the same world of different perspective, I started to understand what used to be cliché to me when I was a kid – it is so nice to be a kid again!...”

Whether a kid or an adult, I am grateful that I am alive.

悼四川地震死難的孩子... (作者不詳 - author unknown)

孩子，快抓緊媽媽的手

去天堂的路，太黑了

媽媽怕你碰了頭

快 ! 抓緊媽媽的手

讓媽媽陪你走

媽媽怕天堂的路太黑

我看不見你的手

自從倒塌的牆

把陽光奪走

我再也看不見

你柔情的眸

孩子，你走吧

前面的路

再也沒有憂愁

沒有讀不完的課本

和爸爸的拳頭

你要記住

我和爸爸的模樣

來生還要一起走

* * * *

媽媽，別擔憂

天堂的路有些擠

有很多同學朋友

我們說 : 不哭

哪一個人的媽媽都是我們的媽媽

哪一個孩子都是媽媽的孩子

沒有我日子

你把愛給活著的孩子吧

媽媽，你別哭

淚光照亮不了我們的路

讓我們自己慢慢的走

媽媽，我會記住你和爸爸的模樣

記住我們的約定

來生我們一起走

-----------------------------------------------
悼四川地震死難的孩子 作者不詳

Say my prayers

It has been almost a week now ever since the 512 incident - 7.8 earthquake in Sichuan, China. My mind goes blank each time I read over the news, listening or watching the news. Up to this day, I heard of stories about missing family and friends. Then, how a grandma tried to protect her pair of grandsons when the earthquake took place and she lost her life there and then - her grandsons survived.

Also about mother who lost her beloved baby to the disaster.. she was seen carrying the little motionless dead body after the earthquake. As she embraced the body, she cleaned the face and body of the little darling and put on new clothes for the baby. That's the love of a mother.. barely having a chance to see the little one grows.. and at this time, I told myself.. I am grateful for I am alive.

However, there's one I can hardly forget.. one of the survivors found was given a saw to remove part of his rotting leg on his own. The surrounding has made it impossible for the rescuers to do that for him. I was astounded. What will I do if I'm in his shoes? I don't know and I don't even want to imagine.

As for today, I saw news of the new survivors.. and some, had eventually lost part of their body - hands and/or legs. We knew how critical it is when it comes to rescuing people.. though we are not one of the rescuers, but we've heard and watched enough for us to understand it.

Of all the incidents that took place, I must agree that Vice President Wen is a great man and he has set a very good example to the leaders of the rest of the world. Actions do speak louder than words! Leaders do not necessary contribute only his/her intelligence in thoughts and words.. actions count too.

Vice President Wen does not only send his order to his men to do their work.. in fact, he himself is involved with the rescuing work. This reminds me, one does not gain more respect because one is richer, smarter, more handsome or having a higher social status.. in fact, the respect can never be measured with such. Respect shall come when what a person does has at least touched ONE person's heart.

I'll say my prayers... to all those involved in this natural disaster - directly or indirectly.

Also, I wish to quote the Vice President of China - Wen JiaBao (溫家寶)

"...您幸运活下来、就好好的活下去"

("... you are lucky to have survived, you should go on living your life fully")

溫家寶 - Wen JiaBao (May, 2008)

Back from Krung Thep

Sawadee-kha...

Beautiful.. right? ^^

Don't ask where am I.. I was one of the photographers! Hihi.. somewhere around Wat Arun.

Modern pose with traditional costumes. Good one girls! Hihi...

Oops.. Sophia was the background.. not a mistake. This was intended ^^ Hihi.. Lots of water lilies and lotuses are available in Thailand.. wow!

While writing our message on the Artist's Place guestbook..

Sophia took these while me and Maggie were sleeping. Well.. these photos from the plane don't come easy. Each of them took at least 10 seconds for that particular shot! Why? Haha.. simply because I'd forgotten to turn off the timer setting in my camera and Sophia went on to snap photos with it without any adjustment. Hihi.. ^^

Mark, Maggie and Sophia. Mark helped us a lot throughout our stay in Krung Thep... from the moment we step into Thailand.. oops.. I don't think so. It should be even earlier. A few days before we departed from Malaysia actually. He helped to arrange our accomodation in the Artist's Place.

In Wat Arun. Well.. for all you know, it's terribly hot! I can't believe it that the two ladies were willing to stand under the hot sun and pose in front of the camera. Haha..

The owner of The Artist's Place.. Charlee. A very nice man and he tried to help in any way he could and often suggesting us the best way to get to the place we're intending to go.

Voodoo dolls are seen everywhere in Krung Thep.. but we didn't buy any. Although they said the voodoo dolls are supposed to bring lucks, but.. we chose not to be ^^ A snapshot will do maybe ^^

My second visit to Starbucks in Krung Thep.. while waiting for Gavin.. we killed our time there ^^ Very nice environment.. it's along Khao San road.

Nothing much. Just a public phone that we don't get to see in Malaysia. So, just a snapshot ^^

While waiting for bus to Siam Square.. this's somewhere around Wat Pho. By the way, before we went in to Wat Pho, we had a wonderful lunch at the jetty.. lots of fresh fruits.. yummy yummy.. pineapples, papayas, watermelons, fried sea mussels, papaya salad and more fruits! Delicious! Then we went to a shop opposite Wat Pho.. the owner is a Chinese lady. Oops.. forgotten to take a photo with her. She's very friendly and when I uttered my limited Thai to her "Khun pen khon jin chai mai kha?" (Are you a Chinese?) and "Khun phut pha sa jin dai mai kha?" (Do you speak Chinese?) she began to speak to the three of us in Mandarin and finally Hakka! Haha.. there's more.. she even treated us delicious rambutans from the fridge.. wow!~ Thank you Mrs Wong.. Well, of course I managed to return her kindness.. I do have some delicacies from Malaysia - heong pia! It really came in handy. I handed her one and she loves it.. good! Hihi.. Before we left, she even offered us the whole bag of rambutans.. but we didn't take it ^^

Fiona, Tao and Sophia after having their Japanese cuisine for dinner in MBK shopping mall. Goodness.. we spent two days in Siam Square shopping area! Haha.. Including MBK as well.. can't believe it! Tao is my Thai friend and we finally get to meet up in Krung Thep. She's a friendly and nice lady.. ^^

Sala Daeng.. a few hours after spending our time in Patpong. Wait.. we didn't go for any Tiger shows not Ping Pong shows okay? Don't think too much! Haha.. however, we spent quite some time in Boots (pharmacy) to get our plasters.. for me and for Maggie. Well, my sandfly bites still there.. eew.. And for Maggie.. I'm not sure if she allows me to state the reason why would she need the plaster for. Hihi.. anyway, they both went for Thai massage there too.. see how relaxing they were while waiting for the sky train ^^ Hihi.. and me, walked all around that area along for an hour.

Hihi... Miss Sophia and Miss Maggie.. this is what you've missed for not taking the bridge walk over the Chao Phraya river! Nevermind, I'd did my part by snapping the best possible shot ^^ Well, don't expect much, I don't have a tripod with me and as the vehicles are moving on the bridge.. I can't really avoid the movements of my camera ^^

Gavin from Ireland. The four of us went to Khao San together by taxi.. the second time the three of us sat in a taxi (not tuk-tuk) after spending over four days there. The first time, was from airport to the Artist's Place. Ooh yes, we met Gavin in the Artist's Place.

Plasters help

Almost a week after returning from Chagar Hutang Beach now. And I think I'm slowly recovering from the awful looking wounds.. thanks to the sandflies, haha!~ Apparently, this is the first time in my life that I'm using so many plasters! Five pieces of new plasters daily! But they really help in healing my wounds and at the same time preventing them from getting worse. Some who'd experienced the miserable bites before may have know how itchy they can be and at the same time, how uncontrollable our fingers can be. Anyway, at least now I know that mosquito coils and plasters are among the best tools I need when going for outdoor activities!

Without them, the wounds can be covering all over my legs instead of only my feet! Good lesson!~ Hihi..

Anyway, a friend came to pay a visit in Kuantan a few days back and she was staying with me. We went for keropok lekor sagu in Tanjung Lumpur in one of the days. And, what happen to the keropok lekor sagu?! They are now half the size of what I had last time.. which was about a year ago. Hihi.. But, they are still as tasty as before... only changes in quantity, but not quality. Good!~ ^^

Turtle Research and Rehabilitation Group, UMT

That’s it… I survived the week in Chagar Hutang Beach, Redang Island and it was incredible! I was there from April 19th 2008 till April 26th 2008. Well, I departed from Kuantan as early as 4.45am and the journey took about three hours. Before reaching UMT, I’d actually went into the wrong campus.. I was in UDM instead of UMT. Basically, I couldn’t wait to reach the meet up destination (Turtle House in UMT) so I drove in to whichever place that seems like an entrance to a campus to me. I didn’t look clearly if that was UMT before entering that place. Alright, enough about the first time being in UMT, Kuala Terengganu.

I was a volunteer for Slot D of the Turtle Rehabilitation and Research Programme and there were six other guys – five from Singapore(Humphrey, Gus, Boon, Forest, Huzer) and one from Penang (Prince). We were first welcomed by the Research Assistant (RA – Lim) and later by Prof. Chan. She gave us a very detailed explanation on the project as well as the lovely turtles; which apparently may face extinction if no action is taken by us – the human kind.

Pak Uda (the van driver) sent the eight of us (Lim, Humphrey, Gus, Boon, Forest, Huzer, Prince and me) to Merang at 11.00am. Along the way, we dropped by a petrol station and guess what, the guys are really ‘keen’ shoppers. Wasn’t that sure that they are really good in ‘shopping’ at this time. But you’ll know why did I say so a little while later ^^ Hihi…

As we arrived in Merang jetty, the guys were having their lunch somewhere nearby before departing from Merang jetty. I offered to look after all the stuffs then as I wasn’t too keen to have meal before journey. So, everybody had their first meal in Terengganu state except me and we were ready for Redang Island. Redang, here we come! That was an hour journey before we get to meet up with Abang Adi (the worker) and now, Chagar Hutang, here we come!

As we reached Chagar Hutang.. it was like.. wowww.www……..! I’m gonna stay here for a week! For Slot D, out of seven volunteers, there was only one girl – me. So, Lim offered me to stay in the RA room and he joined the fellow guy volunteers in ‘Ladies room’. Lim told us that previously, there were more girls than guys and it happened in the other way round for our slot. Therefore, slight changes have to be made as in the room, and the washrooms. Well, I have a ‘private’ room and a ‘private’ washroom! Haha.. Hooray, I have the priority! And it happened that this ‘private’ washroom of mine was meant for the guys previously when there were more girls than guys. While the guys have attached washrooms to their room.. convenient but not convenient.. hihi.. their washrooms have no lights! And mine.. though a little bit further, but will always be ‘bright’ without the need of torchlight or candles. Anyway, I don’t really need that washroom all by myself. After all, it’s a little unfair for the other six guys to share two washrooms and me having a washroom all for myself. So, in the end, we were sharing the washroom. It’s more convenient for everybody.

On the first day, we settled down and Lim gave us a briefing on our responsibilities as a volunteer. After lunch, the guys who happened to find out about their beloved ‘hammocks’ went straight for siesta there. Well, just nice for the guys.. six hammocks for the six of them. By the way, Abang Mann(another worker) was the one who prepared the lunch for us. Yum yum, delicious! While me, Lim and Prince(he managed to lie on the hammock for photo snapping) headed for upriver hike. Cool! That was really great! Lim told us that we were the very first for this upriver hike in 2008. The previous slots didn’t make it because they insisted to be guided. The water’s cooling! Anyway, we didn’t climb all the way up. Just managed to make it half way and we turned back as it was getting late. Anyway, I climbed all the way bare footed! Hihi!~

As we were back at the campsite, Abang Adi told us that there was an excavation. Hatchlings on our first day of arrival! Great! Basically, this wasn’t the first time I saw turtle hatchlings.. so, I was happy and glad instead of thrilled ^^

Now, we’re back in the campsite after collecting the hatchlings. And.. oops.. I’d lost my sunglasses! Prince offered to take care of the sunglasses as we went upriver hike but.. well.. I have to say bye bye to my dear sunglasses forever ^^

At night, we had our dinner and group patrolling from 8.00pm till 12.00am. Then we patrolled in group from 12.00am-2.00am, 2.00am-4.00am and 4.00am-6.00am. My first night was the third patrolling time. Urgh… was so reluctant to wake up! ^^ Anyway, on the first night itself, we also managed to see the biggest turtle landing on Chagar Hutang in record. The Green Turtle was about 120cm long. Don’t ask me for the width.. I don’t remember. Hihi..

The next morning, we went for snorkeling in Chagar Hutang Beach area guided by Abang Adi. Well, I first thought that we wouldn’t be far and it wouldn’t be too deep as well. But I was wrong… again! Never make an assumption! Ask! Haha… All the seven volunteers and Abang Adi were snorkeling without life jacket. Anyway, it was such an experience! No doubt we were without our life jackets, but we did fine and it was great… We saw turtle as we snorkeled! By the way, the playful and naughty Abang Adi handed me a life sea cucumber! Gosh! I wasn’t ready for it… well, what do you expect from one who isn’t a good swimmer ^^ I have to keep swimming to have the sense of security for not drowning.. although the salty sea water is good enough to keep me afloat. The guys went on to look for baby sharks and me, decided to swim back to the beach. Haha.. I don’t wish to get overly tanned! After all, I don’t really expect the sunblock to be 100% effective. And yes.. both me and Lim saw a pair of turtles mating as we were heading back to the campsite.

On Monday morning, we headed to Pulau Lima (Lima Island), Pulau Paku (Paku Island) as well as Long Beach. We snorkeled at both Pulau Lima and Pulau Paku. Well, fellow friends who don’t understand Malay, Lima means five and Paku means nail. It was another gorgeous experience! The beautiful fishes swam all around me! Needless to mention, the sea water all around Redang Island is crystal blue/green/aqua clear! Actually, Abang Adi who was waiting for us on the boat threw pieces of bread all around our body as we snorkeled. But it was great! ^^ Due to the sun again, I was back on boat under the shade.. I took my time to take photos as well as feeding the fishes. Well, I held the bread as I fed. Basically, I can feel the fishes bit my hand every now and then ^^ Tickling and sometimes a little pain ^^ After all these, I checked on my phones. Well, this was the only chance to check and to make calls and send sms. In Chagar Hutang, we’re completely out of the world… as in no outside world connection ^^ Hihi.. it’s good actually. Anyway, it’s only for a week, not too long. It won’t kill for not being able to make phone calls or sms for a week ^^

By the way, in Lima Island, the guys had a great snapshot of them jumping off the ground! I was told later that this is part of their university’s practice. SMU students will make it a point to have such photo wherever they ‘landed’ as to show the image of their students being vivid. Nice one guys!~

In Long Beach, the guys have their own sweet time there as there were no corals. It looked exactly like a man-made beach! Clean and crystal clear! This time, I didn’t join them. Hmph… it was almost noon! No way! Haha… so, I took the chance to snap photos again. This was also the time my camera’s battery died.

After almost an hour waiting on boat, I nearly got sea-sick… urgh… Then, time to be back in Chagar Hutang for our much needed delicious lunch prepared by Abang Mann! ^^ Ooh yes, Long Beach was also a place where I got Prince’s help to get me MOPIKO! Gee.. it’s definitely a must in Chagar Hutang especially during night patrol ^^

Ooh… we were not able to head back to Chagar Hutang yet! Prof Chan was coming! So we waited until 1.30pm and we went back to Chagar Hutang together with Prof Chan.

Well, I don’t think I’ll have to elaborate much to our activity the next day. This is a link to the blog Prof Chan has written on the next activities and some other details – http://www.umt.edu.my/turtle/?p=91

Anyway, on Tuesday’s evening, both me and Prince went upriver hike again to search for the sunglasses. This time, I had my slippers on ^^ Well, found nothing. Anyway, in return, we found the treasure of nature! It was great! We climbed all the way up to the source of the river. We stopped from places to places along the river and had nature SPA treatment! Guess what? We placed our feet and hands into the river water and there were small little prawns that nibbled on them! Just like feeding the fishes, it’s tickling and sometimes a little pain. Lim wanted to follow but he required us to wait for him for another hour. Well, honestly speaking, I don’t really think the one hour was worth waiting. He wanted to take a nap and I don’t see that I have anything else to do while waiting for him to ‘sleep’. Yup, I admit that I’m impatient.. but, there wasn’t a strong reason to convince me to wait for that one hour ^^ Sorry Lim. I’m rather tired and sometimes sick of waiting. Back in nature, I don’t wish to be restrained by time and required to waiting and waiting again. When we were back in the campsite, we got a big rubbish bag from Abang Mann to collect the rubbish all around the river mouth. This was also the time I actually got my left foot injured by the thorns. Phew… it was bleeding all over my wounds and those wounds covered almost 2/3 of my foot.

On Wednesday, me, Boon and Prince went for snorkeling in the morning at Chagar Hutang. Supposedly, we wanted to climb the Turtle Rock before Humphrey and Gus leave but couldn’t make it due to the rain. It was too slippery and dangerous for us to climb up. For this time’s snorkeling, I managed to see the baby sharks!! As well as turtles too! And on top of the large amount of cuts I had on my left foot, I got myself another deep cut on my right foot heel this time! Hihi.. Later in the evening, me, Boon, Lim and Fifi/Harry (worker) went to upriver hike – again ^^ Anyway, we didn’t hike too far up. It was only about 10-15minutes hike as this time, we only wanted to indulge ourselves with the SPA of nature! Kudos Boon! You were the only representative from the Singapore team in Slot D to make it for this wonderful activity! Prince didn’t join the upriver hike this time because he was busy with his artwork. Well, it’s his last second day!

Prince left the camp on Thursday and he left behind a pair of chopsticks on purpose.. I guess he wanted to contribute it to the campsite ^^ Well, good bye Prince! Good bye Prof Chan! Good bye Abang Mann! Good bye Humphrey! Good bye Gus! (Both Humphrey and Gus left on Wednesday – you’ll know why by reading the blog by Prof Chan ^^ ).
Well, as the weather weren’t sunny for a couple of days, I was sleeping in the cold! The ‘smart’ me left my sleeping bag in the car! Hihi.. ^^

Now, the campsite was rather quiet and lonely.. Only fours volunteers, a RA and three workers left. Well these few days were the days I get to sit there quietly and fed the hungry mosquitoes while reading! I would rather donate my blood than to feed the mosquitoes… urgh… draculas!

Also on this day, there was a nest found attacked by the ants colony. Lim found it when he was conducting the nest check. It was really spooky!

On Thursday’s night, we managed to see a Hawksbill turtle landing on the beach. She was definitely so much smaller compared to the Green Turtle.

Friday! We finally had our fine and sunny day back! And it’s hot again! ^^ So, we finally get to climb Turtle Rock in the evening. Fifi led the way and we stopped in five great view points! What else? Time for photos snapping of course!! Well, the only scary thing was the ant colonies! They’re everywhere right after the few rainy days! Grr….

Friday night.. our last night on Chagar Hutang beach. By now, I’d accumulated lots of sandfly bite. Anyway, didn’t feel it when I was still there. On this night, me, Lim and Gary were on the first shift. Me and Lim were supposed to patrol from 12.00am-3.00am while Gary from 12.00am-2.00am. But Gary chose to stay up until 3.00am as he said this was my last night there. By 2.00am, both Gary and Lim were asleep. I was still awake while monitoring the Green Turtle. Well, guess what? I had the ‘nature’ clock in me! I manage to predict when she was about to lay eggs and I was right! Then I woke them up of course! ^^ This night, I managed to measure the turtle ^^ Thanks Gary! ^^ By the way, this was also the night I began to bring along mosquito coils to everywhere! And it worked! Hihi.. too bad.. it was too late. Only manage to do that on the last night there ^^

Saturday morning.. we had our breakfast and were all ready to leave after a week there. And before that, we had another group photo – the SURVIVORS! Hihi… As we waited for the ferry at Long Beach, I made several phone calls.. finally! And also continued snapping as many photos as I can.. well, not that nice. Not because of the view, it’s me.. ^^ After all, can’t expect much, I’m not a professional photographer ^^ Later, we had ‘ais kacang’ (an icy serving served especially on a hot day). Thanks for the treat guys! Appreciate that a lot! ^^

Finally, we’re back in Merang and now, only four of us left – me, Boon, Forest and Huzer. Pak Uda was a little late and we waited at the jetty. Then, hello UMT again! And hello Prof Chan! She gave us our certificates and had a little chat before leaving.

Well, end of ‘report’ for my one week away from ‘civilization’ as we described it ^^ For those who didn’t reach me from April 19th 2008 till April 26th 2008, now you know where I was! I was somewhere on the earth feeding the hungry mosquitoes!

As for today, I’m still suffering from the itchiness of the sandfly’s bites! Basically, I’m also tanned! Hihi ^^

Ooh.. anyone interested to join the volunteer programme? ^^

Author Unknown

~ Author Unknown

Dear Patrick,

I was then an only child who had everything I could ever want. But even a pretty, spoiled and rich kid could get lonely once in a while so when Mom told me that she was pregnant, I was ecstatic. I imagined how wonderful you would be and how we'd always be together and how much you would look like me.

So, when you were born, I looked at your tiny hands and feet and marveled at how beautiful you were. We took you home and I showed you proudly to my friends. They would touch you and sometimes pinch you, but you never reacted.

When you were five months old, some things began to bother Mom. You seemed so unmoving and numb, and your cry sounded odd --- almost like a kitten's. So we brought you to many doctors. The thirteenth doctor who looked at you quietly said you have the 'cry du chat' (pronounced Kree-do-sha) syndrome, 'cry of the cat' in French. When I asked what that meant, he looked at me with pity and softly said, 'Your brother will never walk nor talk.'

The doctor told us that it is a condition that afflicts one in 50,000 babies, rendering victims severely retarded. Mom was shocked and I was furious. I thought it was unfair. When we went home, Mom took you in her arms and cried. I looked at you and realized that word will get around that you're not normal. So to hold on to my popularity, I did the unthinkable ... I disowned you. Mom and Dad didn't know but I steeled myself not to love you as you grew.

Mom and Dad showered you love and attention and that made me bitter. And as the years passed, that bitterness turned to anger, and then hate. Mom never gave up on you. She knew she had to do it for your sake.Everytime she put your toys down, you'd roll instead of crawl. I watched her heart break every time she took away your toys and strapped your tummy with foam so you couldn't roll. You struggle and you're cry in that pitiful way, the cry of the kitten. But she still didn't give up.

And then one day, you defied what all your doctors said -- you crawled. When mom saw this, she knew you would eventually walk. So when you were still crawling at age four, she'd put you on the grass with only your diapers on knowing that you hate the feel of the grass on your skin. Then she'd leave you there. I would sometimes watch from the windows and smile at your discomfort. You would crawl to the sidewalk and Mom would put you back. Again and again, Mom repeated this on the lawn.

Until one day, Mom saw you pull yourself up and toddle off the grass as fast as your little legs could carry you. Laughing and crying, she shouted for Dad and I to come. Dad hugged you crying openly. I watched from my bedroom window this heartbreaking scene.

Over the years, Mom taught you to speak, read and write. From then on, I would sometime see you walk outside, smell the flowers, marvel at the birds, or just smile at no one. I began to see the beauty of the world through your eyes. It was then that I realized that you were my brother and no matter how much I tried to hate you, I couldn't, because I had grown to love you.

During the next few days, we again became acquainted with each other. I would buy you toys and give you all the love that a sister could ever give to her brother. And you would reward me by smiling and hugging me. But I guess, you were never really meant for us. On your tenth birthday, you felt severe headaches. The doctor's diagnosis --leukemia.

Mom gasped and Dad held her, while I fought hard to keep my tears from falling. At that moment, I loved you all the more. I couldn't even bear to leave your side. Then the doctors told us that your only hope is to have a bonemarrow transplant. You became the subject of a nationwide donor search.

When at last we found the right match, you were too sick, and the doctor reluctantly ruled out the operations. Since then, you underwent chemotherapy and radiation. Even at the end, you continued to pursue life. Just a month before you died, you made me draw up a list of things you wanted to do when you got out of the hospital. Two days after the list was completed, you asked the doctors to send you home. There, we ate ice cream and cake, run across the grass, flew kites, went fishing, took pictures of one another and let the balloons fly.

I remember the last conversation that we had. You said that if you die, and if I need of help, I could send you a note to heaven by tying it on the string of any balloon and letting it fly. When you said this, I started crying. Then you hugged me. Then again, for the last time, you got sick. That last night, you asked for water, a back rub, a cuddle. Finally, you went into seizure with tears streaming down your face.

Later, at the hospital, you struggled to talk but the words wouldn't come. I know what you wanted to say. 'Hear you,' I whispered. And for the last time, I said, 'I'll always love and I will never forget you. Don't be afraid. You'll soon be with God in heaven.' Then, with my tears flowing freely, I watched the bravest boy I had ever known finally stop breathing. Dad, Mom and I cried until I felt as if there were no more tears left.

Patrick was finally gone, leaving us behind. From then on, you were my source of inspiration. You showed me how to love life and live to the fullest. With your simplicity and honesty, you showed me a world full of love and caring. And you made me realize that the most important thing in this life is to continue loving without asking why or how and without setting any limit.

Thank you, my little brother, for all these.

Coincident or Curse?

My oh my!~ What a day!~ I had dinner with two of my ex-classmates today as well as my best friend!~ I was in the same dining table with two of my ex-classmates but different table with my best friend!~ She was sitting somewhere nearby all the while but we didn't realise that until we chatted through messenger a while ago.

Basically, a 'naughty' friend of mine casted a 'spell' on me that both me and my best friend will not get to meet in places other than our hometown. For a period of time, it happened to be so until one fine day we'd finally get to meet up! Now.. I wonder if he has re-activated the spell he casted a few years back.. I don't even get to see my best friend (vice-versa, she didn't get to see me) even though we were under the same roof, having our dinner!~ Goodness...

Is this coincident or the 'spell' works? If it is the spell.. then I shall make him cast a better spell.. make everybody around happily.. ever after! And me.. healthy, happy and wealthy!~ Hihi..

My my.. my dear friend.. I wonder if what happened for the night is explainable? ^^

I mean for 1: She didn't realise that it was me (my back was facing her)

For 2: Again.. we were so 'far' yet so 'near'!~ Having dinner 'together' and yet 'not together'.. hihi

Well..what can we say? ^^

April 1

Well, this is a day with 'something'. First, the day when Leslie Cheung left us. Second, this is the day our 1 cent coins becoming a history. Plenty of things there though. Haha.. Last but not least, it's April Fool. However, didn't went through this day as a fool. Neither it is anything special. One thing I'm sure of, this day is the same as any other day except for having an extra pair of panda eyes. That's the end result of not having enough sleep for a few nights.. for me.

Now, how I miss Taman Gelora.. and how I miss to climb trees again..

Basically, my mind is completely blank right now. Perhaps I shall begin adding in some clouds.. sunshine etc.. Great.. maybe I shall head to my dreamland now ^^