Now back to the key point of 'for the longest time'.
1. What have I not been doing for the longest time?
2. What have I been liking for the longest time?
3. What have I wanted to do for the longest time?
4. What have I been forgetting for the longest time?
5. What have I kept for the longest time?
6. What have I been missing for the longest time?
And the list goes on and on. When I start questioning myself on all of this, I realise that I've forgotten many that I sometimes lead an auto pilot life. Just a couple of days ago, I was filing all my utilities bill and official documents. When I come to the World Vision file, I can't help but to remind myself there's something I've not forgotten, but avoided to do, yet, pretended that I'd forgotten. What was that? To write letters to our sponsored children. Why avoid? I sure believe I do have sufficient time to do that. But I seemed to have many excuses for not doing it. One minute, I got hooked up on the internet, the next minute, I got hooked up with gym, and the next hour with television (gosh, this sure is a 'killer'). Was it really that hard to get those letters written?
N.O. It isn't hard at all. The hardest part, which is also the easiest, is to do it with all my heart. In another word, with sincerity. Oh gosh! Have I lost my heart? Have I lost my sincerity? As I type and type, I realise, I've been lazying too much and relied heavily on the 'auto-pilot' mode for my life, that many things that I've done and went through meant nothing. Wow. How long has that been? I don't know. But I can't do much to change the past. All that I have is now. It's time to stop the auto-pilot mode and take charge of my journey. I guess the auto-pilot mode was my scapegoat in case if anything goes wrong. And that's totally wrong! Bad me, naughty me, thoughtless me! It probably went on and off for the past 3 years. Until now, that I'm ready for it. Nothing should stop me from turning into the manual mode. Bonne chance!
2 comments:
That is so true... I think a lot of us fall into the auto-pilot routine from time to time...especially after a very busy phase. That's why we should remind ourselves from time to time to snap out of it! I really should too...
Ooh Wee Pin! You do read my blog too ^.^ Glad to see you here. Well, it so happen to serve a reminder to myself for I have been wasting too much of time! ^.^
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